Hey, people, it’s officially summer! Many Americans find it soothing to take a vacation from politics this time of year, but I know you just can’t let it go.
Here’s a solstice quiz. Pick the best answer for each question:
Gov. Tate Reeves of Mississippi, a champion of the state’s ban on abortions after the 15th week of pregnancy, was asked what would happen next if the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Specifically, whether the next step would be for Mississippi to ban various forms of contraception.
Reeves replied …
“What? That would be crazy.”
“It’s not something that we’ve spent a lot of time focused on.”
Herschel Walker, the Republican nominee for Senate from Georgia, has made criticizing absentee fathers a central theme of his political life and likes talking about his great relationship with his 22-year-old son, Christian. Recently we learned that Walker …
Actually has two daughters he never mentions.
Has a son and daughter he never mentions, plus another son whose mother sued him for child support.
Was named the 2022 recipient of the Wait, How Many Kids Do I Have? award.
This year’s Senate race in Ohio has had no end of exciting twists and turns. In just one little sidelight, J.D. Vance, the Republican nominee, suggested that Joe Biden was allowing drugs like fentanyl to be sold all around the country because …
He wanted to kill Donald Trump supporters in the heartland.
He had a secret financial interest in addiction rehabilitation programs.
All Democrats love drugs.
Mehmet Oz won the Republican Senate primary in Pennsylvania, having apparently pushed back on complaints that he doesn’t really live there. Supporters argued that …
He spent his last 30-plus years in New Jersey just waiting for the chance to move back home and vote.
He’s been staying with New Jersey relatives while his new Pennsylvania residence is being renovated — it takes time to fix up a place with eight bedrooms and seven and a half baths.
Both — and he’ll renounce his dual citizenship with Turkey if he’s elected.
Donald Trump lost a big battle when Georgia Republicans supported the renomination of Gov. Brian Kemp, who Trump has hated since Kemp insisted on reporting the accurate results of the state’s presidential vote.
Mike Pence’s position on the race was …
“I was for Brian Kemp before it was cool.”
“I don’t know — I’m still tuckered out from certifying the presidential election.”
“Georgia is a wonderful state which I hear may have a significant influence on selecting the next Republican presidential nominee. Hope to see you all in Decatur soon.”
Republican Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa says he will run for an eighth term even though …
He’s been preparing for a new career as a track coach.
He’s really tired of living in Iowa.
Trump recently issued a formal statement on his official former-president letterhead, declaring …
“I want to announce my plan to announce whether I plan to run again.”
“Despite our many differences, I support President Biden’s strong stance on Ukraine.”
“I made a hole in one.”
This month, New Yorkers go to the polls to pick their nominees for governor. Among the possibilities are …
Andrew Cuomo in disguise.
Whichever Trump is living in the apartment in Manhattan.
The new governor, who’s running against … some guys.
On the Republican side, Andrew Giuliani complained that he’s been excluded from appearing in person at some debates because he’s …
Just basically a ridiculous long shot.
Refusing to take part unless his dad can get him a gig on “The Masked Singer.”
The committee investigating the Jan. 6 insurrection learned that on election night, Donald Trump ignored advisers who were telling him not to declare victory and listened mainly to Rudy Giuliani despite the fact that Rudy was apparently …
Having a hard time remembering which election had just happened.
Fiddling with his zipper while a young woman visited his room.
When Joe Biden fell while dismounting from his bike to greet reporters and visitors near his vacation home, Trump …
Instantly sent a message wishing him good health.
Denied rumors that Don Jr. had flattened the tires.
Sent out a fake video showing him knocking Biden off the bike with a golf ball.
Missouri Republican Senate candidate Eric Greitens recently posted an ad …
Apologizing for allegations of sexual misconduct and campaign finance irregularities that forced him to resign as governor.
Showing voters that he’s “RINO hunting” by breaking into a home with a shotgun and a cadre of armed soldiers wearing tactical gear.
Posing with Donald Trump Jr. next to a pile of amputated tusks.
Greitens’s campaign manager responded to outrage over the ad by saying critics are …
“Certainly entitled to their own opinion.”
“Either lying or dumb.”
“RINOs who whine-o.”
The Texas Republican Party wrapped up its state convention, having voted to …
Reject Joe Biden’s election as illegitimate.
Reject Joe Biden’s election and call for a referendum on whether Texas could secede from the Union.
Reject Joe Biden’s election, call for a secession referendum and repeal the Voting Rights Act of 1965.